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06/30/2004
- H.O.T. Tips Newsletter - Click
here to go to archives.
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H.O.T. Goes to Washington
Dear H.O.T. Friends and Lovers,
Ever have one of those adventures which seems like a sort of
"Twilight Zone" or "Divine Encounter", where everything keeps
seeming like it was destined to be? Well, we had one on the
trip we are on and may still not be over. I wanted to share
it with you.
We started out from our little town of Utopia, Texas on
June 19, ostensibly to deliver some H.O.T. to New York City
to be part of a "goody bag" for a "Billion Dollar Babes"
event. This is where high fashion designers sell off their
end of season and runway model clothes to "A list" invitees
at up to 80% off. The goody bags consist of cosmetic, and
other sample/promotion products as a bonus for these
privileged shoppers. How H.O.T. got there is a whole other
adventure which I will relate at another time.
When we were plotting our course to NY on Mapquest.com, we
discovered that H.O.T.Sheila of Ohio was right on our path.
She is the winner of our Whooeee contest of last month and
the voice on www.hotexas.com. When I was making
arrangements to get her H.O.T. winnings to her, she sounded
interested in getting involved in distribution with H.O.T.,
so we just hauled her some product and got her started.
That is where we began to develop the H.O.T. Distributor
program which is still ongoing. Here is a link to the last
H.O.T.Tips Newsletter explaining that.06232004. You can
still get on board if you are interested and can qualify.
So, that was the first divine coincidence, that Sheila
would be right on the way to NY (I haven't been to NY in
over 30 years and had never driven before.)
Then, on to "The Big Apple." I thought it was all tall
buildings up north, but on Interstate 81, from Ohio to
New Jersey, it is nothing but trees and beautiful
mountains, much to my pleasant surprise. The next part
of the adventure was less pleasant, but certainly
noteworthy.
Here is a piece of advice which could save you some costly
mistakes. First, when your spouse makes a suggestion in a
calm rational voice and one side of your mind says, "that
sounds right, better do it" and your pride says,"Not a
chance, Charlie, I know what I'm doing ?" and you find out
later that the spouse had the truth and you were blinded
by that dumb idiot, pride. Well, that is what happened as
I considered how to get 200 jars of H.O.T. to an unknown
location in Midtown, Manhattan, USA. H.O.T Denny, wise wife
of H.O.T. Bill said, why don't we park the motorhome, get
a cab, and have him take us in to make the delivery? I can
still remember when "stupid" took control. If you think you
will wise up someday about such things, Fugedaboudit, as
they say around NY. "I can drive a motorhome right onto
New York's little island, no problem," I said.
I was totally relaxed when we came around the last turn and
over a hill, revealing the world's most famous skyline,
beautiful and majestic, though now sadly scarred by the
disaster of 9/11/2001. I was calm, rolling up to the toll
gate area to pay the first of a fortune in tolls. Little
did I know the bell was tolling for me. The signs over the
toll booths said, "EZ Pass Only", "No Trucks or Trailers",
"Trucks or Cars". I had 17 seconds to decide which door to
choose. I think they had at least a minute to choose on the
old TV show, "Price is Right." In retrospect, it is plain,
this country boy needed a moment or two longer (stupid was
in charge). I knew it wasn't EZ Pass, I wasn't a truck or a
car, nor was I a Trailer. I was a motorhome with no specific
do or don't to sort me in or out. I went for "No Trucks or
Trailers." Two seconds later, I realized my mistake as the
crashing sound came from the top of the coach as a fortune
in electrical and electronic technology on top was reduced
to worthless junk by a rigid sign warning too late of its
low hanging position. By the time my cherished automatic
satellite finding TV dish dome had bitten the dust, there
was no turning back as my rearview mirror revealed a link
of cars (no trucks or trailers) from right against my back
bumper all the way into those lovely hills behind us. Might
as well destroy two expensive air conditioners while you
are here. "Mr. Pride" would be way too embarrassed to stop
now. So, I got my ticket from the surprised attendant and
barged on through. First time she had to stand up all day
in her lane. The encounter at the next booth, where you
pay was so funny, I almost laughed to tears. These two ladies,
yelling back and forth couldn't figure out how I got the
$3.00 ticket for a car instead of the $4.50 ticket I should
have had. We didn't have time to discuss it and I was in no
mood to besides, so I just paid the extra $1.50. After all,
what is so small a cost when you just trashed a fortune in
equipment a few minutes before. By this time, "Pride" had
been humbled, but there was more to come.
I thought my luck had changed when I found a convenient
pull-over place to stop and assess the damage. I crawled up
on top and saw that though damaged, everything seemed to be
in one piece. Near tears, though not about to admit it and
with far too many challenges still to meet, I got back into
the driver's seat and gave Mrs. H.O.T. a quick glance. She
was looking straight ahead as though nothing was going on,
knowing an "I told-you-so" would be highly redundant. Next
hurdle, The Lincoln Tunnel.
After 9/11, everything had changed for NY. Safety
precautions were imposed, ad nauseum. One safeguard was to
prohibit any vehicles with propane tanks on board. Guess
what?, that included the now half-demolished motorhome with
the idiot behind the wheel. I dutifully took the alternate
route which was a U-Turn. Somewhere in the God-forsaken
real-estate called Jersey City, I pulled over called an RV
park off the end of Manhattan near "Lady Liberty." The voice
of the friendly lady who gave driving instructions was
reassuring, and a great relief to this beat cowboy, whew!
Compared to that "adventure", the rest went great. Manhattan,
from across the Harbor is awesome to behold. We took a few
pictures which you can see on this page: New
York Pictures We were there for two
days, walking our feet off, before proceeding south and
toward home, or so we thought.
The Turnpike was a very long parking lot when we departed on
Friday afternoon. It seems everyone was headed to the beach.
I just wanted to get home to the wide open spaces, where the
buffalo roam and the sky is not cloudy all day. It was near
dark by the time we got to Washington, DC, so we stopped for
the night. The next morning, we decided that since we may not
be back this way again, we may as well venture down and see
the Capitol. I rarely wear a H.O.T. T-shirt, but decided to
don one on this bright Saturday morning. I took some H.O.T.
Samples which I would not think to do, normally. Additionally,
I asked the wife to fill her fanny pack with samples, as well.
Though we take these little blandness-killers for our own
meals, I had not a clue why I was impressed to so prepare for
this jaunt.
When we emerged from the train, I was immediately made
aware of the reason for portraying H.O.T.Bill. "The Annual
Safeway Bar-B-Q challenge" was just about to kick-off right in
the middle of Pennsylvania Ave., dominating half the roadway
from The Capitol to The White House. Can you say, "Divine
Appointment?" If you know how well H.O.T. and BBQ go together,
you understand why I was taken aback so by the opportunity to
present H.O.T. in such a perfect venue. We spent most of the
next two days meeting dozens of BBQ folks from all over the
country, exchanging cards and making plans for joint
promotions.
Next Newsletter, I will have some of the "H.O.T. in Washington"
pictures. This has gone on too long to do it in this issue.
If you haven't become a H.O.T. Lover, yet, go immediately to Orders
and get some so you will know
what all the fuss is about.
See you next time,
Bill Fernald
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